Category: Letters to the Editor

McManus Answers NYT Question “Can We Disinherit Our Addicted Son?”

Recently, The New York Times published the Ethicist’s answer to a reader question, “Can We Disinherit Our Addicted Son?” Here’s a shortened version of the question to which the column responds:

Our son has been a heroin addict for 10 years…We have spent a fortune on rehab, counseling, legal fees and more, which changed nothing…

Under other circumstances, we would split everything equally among our children, but for our addicted son, this would be like throwing gasoline on a fire.

We are thinking of putting his share into a trust to be used exclusively for his future health needs, rehab and, hopefully, sobriety. But again, we love our son, and it is heartbreaking to realize we are essentially leaving him nothing tangible. What is the ethical thing for us to do?

And below is McManus & Associates Founding Principal John O. McManus’ take, which is posted alongside the article:

As a principal of an estate and trusts law firm in this New York metropolitan area, it is not uncommon to see these family struggles – you are directionally prudent in your decision. That said, the anguish often comes with discerning whether “it is fair, and could it be more destructive” if my addicted child sees that we are treating him differently from his currently higher functioning siblings. One consolation is that all your children may elegantly receive their family gift into trust. For your other children, the trust serves to protect their assets from others, but each can serve as their own trustee and enjoy the protection of “driving their own armored truck,” making investments and distributions to themselves as necessary. For your currently addicted son, he will have another “driver” (other than himself) to serve as trustee until he reaches emancipation from his addiction one day. It may also be prudent that the trustee not be one your other children, but someone who both knows your son and your wishes for his very best welfare. In the meantime, your other children’s strain will not be compounded by taking his calls as he seeks to achieve access to the trust assets during his period of vulnerability. In the end, your other children will love and protect him by quietly possessing the power to appoint and remove any independent trustee and can regularly remain in consultation to ratify the trustee’s decisions.

For help with setting up a trust to protect your children from asset attacks by others (as well as to protect them from themselves, when necessary), call McManus & Associates at 908-898-0100.

McManus Pens Letter to the Editor Responding to New York Times Story on Privilege

New York Times graphic

Recently, the New York Times ran a story by Nelson D. Schwartz, titled “In an Age of Privilege, Not Everyone Is in the Same Boat (A1, April 24).” John O. McManus – McManus & Associates’ founding principal who grew up in the Bronx but has worked with high net worth families for 25 years – penned the Letter to the Editor below in response:

The Bernardsville News: Letter to The Editor

To the Editor:

One of the upsides of the strife from Hurricane Irene is watching people band together and extend a hand to those in need. Ten years after 9/11, we still clearly remember hardened New Yorkers pitching in to help their brothers and sisters in a time of extreme need.

However remarkable this effort, in the face of tragedy, we often question why we do not always act for the benefit of our community. For many of us, the answer is straightforward: we are committed to serving our families and loved ones first. Events such as 9/11 and recent natural disasters remind us how fortunate we are and inspire us to serve others in their time of need.

Following Hurricane Irene, sharing refrigerators, showers, and washing machines became the norm for those possessing electric power and running water. One of my dear friends, on a moment’s notice, hauled a generator to my house to assist and, when power was received, we passed along his kindness to our friends by making available power, water, and accommodations for the next seven days.

While the outpouring of assistance is commendable in a time of crisis, there are those who make it their life’s mission, in more ordinary times, to help others in their day-to-day struggles. One institution that stands out as a hallmark for serving others, at all times is the Somerset Hills YMCA.

Throughout the power loss the Y was a welcomed retreat for those without power or water. Yes, to take it a step further, on Labor Day, when the Y is typically closed, employees and volunteers joined together so that anyone in the community would still have the privilege of a warm shower, and electric power. Some may view this as exceptional, but those more intimately affiliated with the Y know that these behaviors are typical even in normal periods. Yes, the Y is a venue to socialize and to be physically active, but that is merely an ancillary benefit of its highest mission.

The Y is first and foremost a charitable institution serving the community irrespective of its need.  The elderly, the poor and the financially strapped young families who need assistance receive services from the Y.  The YMCA gives nearly to $1 million in free services each year, to those in need in the Somerset Hills community.

This element of charity, which attracts so many of us to our churches, temples, and to the Y, is also the reason why my wife and I have committed ourselves to aiding the works of the Y. The Y is the one institution in our community that transcends all cultural and religious boundaries, and its Board of Directors is comprised of individuals from all walks of life. Everyone feels at home at the “Y.”

The Y reminds us that there is goodness in focusing on the needs of the community, certainly in times of extreme strife, but also in times when people’s needs are a private matter particularly in this ostensibly unceasing economic crisis. While each of us are busy with our daily routines and obligations, there are always people “just around the corner” in need… they can find a welcoming home at the Y.

John O. McManus

(Mr. McManus is a Board Member of the Somerset Hills YMCA)